Thursday, August 20, 2009


So I know a lot of blogs do a tmi-Thursday theme. I tend to avoid this because as I've been studyng Biology for a rather scarily long time, my idea of TMI tends to be a bit far across the tmi-line for most normal people.

But today I have a problem, and I wouldn't mind some advice on how to proceed...

So there's this guy in the lab. We get along pretty well, and everything's been great for the past few months. Then, on Monday... lets just say he can't have been eating very healthily and he "released" something in the lab. I gestured frantically ot Leia, who gestured back the universal signal for "WHAT?" a few times before it reached her. It was so bad we actually had to leave the room. We giggled in the passage before someone found some deodorant and made a big show of applying it very liberally (more around the room than anything else) so that we could get back to work.

This morning I arrived at the lab to find that Leia had attempted to help the situation by putting flowers in the lab. These had the fortunate side-effect of kickstarting my allergiies for the day, so I've been unable to smell very much. Once the Releaser gets going though it is actually powerful enough to break past the infected sinuses. I don't know what the guy has been eating, but WOW it's bad! Fortunately I have Leia as an early-warning system - every now and then I get a message on Gtalk to say "he just let another one go...its bad!" and then I can have a desperate urge to check my mailbox, go to the bathroom, or just take an impromptu walk.

The thing is, I don't know what's worse, the fact that we have to live in a lab full of noxious gases (and not the usual ones we use in experiments), or the fact that we're English enough to do just about anything to avoid mentioning it. I mean:

  • We have code-signals
  • We have an early warning system
  • We have flowers
  • We have excuses to leave the room
  • we blame in on the drain that used to be blocked
  • Leia managed to survive a particularly nasty one this afternoon by shoving a teabag over her nose and mumbling "Is this normal tea or Rooibos?"

I mean WHAT is so hard about saying "Oh my gosh! WHAT is that smell?"

And now that we've ignored it for almost a week, how on earth do we address it? I'm all for getting one of those auto-release air fresheners...

Anyway in the spirit of changing the subject, I forced my rather conservative parents to watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights last night. I started ahvng second thoughts when I remembered some of the scenes that I'd forgotten about, but rather than freak out they laughed like crazy and even finished it AND watched the special features after I'd left for gym!

So I figured I'd leave you with one of my favourite bits from the whole thing:


Jeney Peney said...

You really should just be blunt about it... "Okay, that can't be the sink." It's like a band-aid; just rip it off and get it over with.

On a side note, Men in Tights is amazing!

po said...

Classic movie!

I would never say anything either. I am as British as they come. But if he is a guy you should just joke about it, aren't guys all secretly proud of their farts?

The Mutant said...

Get over the Britishness already. I work with a Pom and he's not all high and mighty at all, he is fucking hot though, but that probably isn't relevant. Anyway, next time that he farts, do the right thing by saying "You know what, we've been polite and not mentioned it until now, but something in your lower colon smells like a carcas that's been rotting in the sun for a week, Maybe next time you could consider your co-workers and take your fetid arse OUTSIDE!"

Of course you can modify if you like, and I'll let you paraphrase, but give it a shot and see how it goes. I wish all the best with that!

Kath Lockett said...

I used to be 'British' about such thing until around ten years ago when I was working late - so was my boss - and I walked into his office to ask him something.

He clearly hadn't been aware that I was still working and his emission honked harder than a bucket of week old prawns. I reeled back dramatically and said, "Geez Pat, how many more of your brain cells are you going to sacrifice?"

At first he blushed and then we both cracked up laughing.

Since then, I've either let a few go myself (bending over suddenly, doing yoga, going running or post-baby body does that to a girl) or talked about it. Farts seem to be the one silly subject that even the straightest person gets a giggle out of, so just say something funny and enjoy yourself!

henno said...

Do you know the joke about the dude who meets his future parents in law for the first time and lets rip all the way through dinner and the dad shouts "Wagter, kom uit onder die tafel!" like he's blaming the dog under the table, so the dude feels safe in flaunting his flatulence but finally when the he lets a very noxious one rip the dad shouts:"Wagter, kom uit onder die tafel voor hy op jou kop kak!"

Not very British nor helpful I'm afraid :)

Unknown said...

Buy a box of Lion matches and tell the lad that if he is going to have a gas, he should light a match afterwards to diffuse the fumes!

Or you could light a match in his honour...

Candice said...

Oh no. I won't be able to make eye contact with said individual ever again, because I'll be trying not to giggle. I like Jenny's approach though!

EEbEE said...

There is a way.

you and your lab mate need to eat beans and stuff the night before going into work. you then proceed to fart on this guy who keeps letting them off.

but do it in a casual way, when you are ready, stroll past his desk and toot without saying a word. return to your desk and carry on working.

he'll get the picture.