Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Don't fish if you don't want to catch anything

This post is partly a rant. I'm sorry but there are some things that have been bugging me lately:

A while ago a friend of mine sent me an email asking me to critique something she had done. i thought that what she had done was awful and just... it sucked. So after a few hours of getting advice from a few people around me as to what to say to her, I sent a carefully worded reply where I basically said that she was very creative, but it's not my style and I suggested a few things to make it a bit more... I think accessible was the word I used.

Either way I am very aware that I am fussy, people have very different tastes and I do think it's good for people to experiment a little bit because sometimes the things that work are quite surprising and are only found by trial and error and experimenting.

That was the last I've heard from her. And from what I gather from the other people she asked for advice is that she thought that her 'experiment' was awesome and everyone else dutifully told her so, so I have been removed because I'm not sticking to the script! It's not like I was mean or anything...

Seriously, if you ask for my opinion, don't be surprised if that's what I give you! And if you're just fishing for compliments, then say so and I'll be nice! And I'm not being silly - if I do something I'm proud of, I will call people over and say "Look what I did! Isn't it awesome?" not "what do you think of [my geranium garden]?" or whatever. Geranium, Pelargonium, tomayto tomahto....

Next up, is the age old "I put something out on the Internet, how on earth was I supposed to know that anyone could access it?" rant. so I started a blog in 2006, and 've become rather fond of it I've considered making a new one and using fake names and writing fictitious stuff to throw people off my true identity and blah blah blah, but I just don't want to. I like this blog.

I accept the fact that I'm putting things out there that can be quite personal, and at the same time I don't often write anything that I wouldn't say out loud. This blog is not a secret look into the inner workings of my mind. Those are mostly private and occasionally shared with very close friends, if I ever get around to acknowledging them in the first place. I try and avoid talking about people much if they don't ok it first and if I do I try and avoid using names or too many details that could 'expose' them.

Fair enough. At the same time, I like my privacy. I deal with a lot of different people on a daily basis and a lot of that is in a vaguely professional context. I don't really want everyone I've ever met reading about what I do on my weekends. You follow?

And so I was checking out my statcounter history this morning to find that someone had used a comment that someone who reads my blog had left on facebook (which is fast becoming the bane of my existence) and used it to google my blog.

If you want to read my blog and you know me in real life, then you should know that while I don't broadcast the URL from the rooftops, it's not really a big secret. So why not just ask me? Let me know that you're reading this/ want to read this? It's only polite. There's not much you'll get from here that you wouldn't get from a normal conversation with me anyway, but I think that 'sneaking around' trying to find someones blog is akin to trying to read someone's diary, which is totally dumb when I would have given you the address anyway.

What do you guys think? Are you ok with people you know reading about you? Or do you keep your identity top-secret?

12 comments:

Being Brazen said...

Just recently I had a moment where i thought - OH MY GOODNESS, that person reads my blog!! >it was not a good moment...it made me feel soooo annoyed that they knew who I was and read my blog...

I try to be a bit anonymous. I dont mind my good friends and The Boyf reading it though :)

SuvvyGirl said...

Personally I think trying to keep something you post on the internet completely top secret from those you know in real life is pointless. A lot try it and don't suceed. I did and definately did not suceed. So I am somewhat semi private but there's a few people that I know in real life that read my blog and I"m okay with it. I"m like you I don't really say anything i wouldn't face to face. Granted there are a few people that it would annoy me a bit if they read my blog...but it's not like post about anything super exciting anyway. :P

Skinny Bitches in the Making said...

Sometimes I wish none of our friends read the blog then we can do a proper vent and say what we think. But we have had to censor it a bit. The worse is finding out someone is reading the blog but they don't have anything to say about it. Not even "it's crap." As long as some of my work colleagues don't read it, I'll be fine. I'm not afraid they'll be mad I'm just worried they will become even creapier!

miss rambles said...

i have 3 IRL friends who read my blog and tht is because i gave them the link.otherwise no i prefer no1 else knows.i need a place where i can be free to express my thoughts and feelings and i know some IRL friends would read too much into it and the fear it would get back to my family.

i did get busted once so i am more conscious about what i do blog abt.

po said...

I am all for anonymity. If anyone I know reads my blog it is because I told them about it. I begged them not to reveal my true identity.

It is a bit freaky if someone you know starts to read it without telling you, cos it is a bit like stalking, but I think we have to accept that this might happen if it is out there on the web for all to see.

EEbEE said...

I write for others to read (what's the point otherwise).

My motivation in part comes from readers. I do, however, have more respect for some readers than others (then again, I'm allowed to).

I guess when your blog becomes more serious you (by default) end up targeting specific readers and forgetting about the non-target reader that may take offence or aren't meant to read the post. You can't blame these people.

sarah said...

i created my blog for my friends and family to see japan the way i see it

now i have a ton of followers and while i like having people give me feedback and ideas, sometimes it is really annoying...

i dont really care who knows and reads though. i dont try hide myself at all. and dont really say anything scandalous

Kath Lockett said...

I used to post anonymously under my dog's name (Milly, lengthened to MillyMoo) but after the book came out and I was keen to set myself up as a writer, it became a bit pointless.

Like you, there's nothing on my blog that I wouldn't say in real life - good and bad. In fact I tend to tone it down!

If someone has found you via a comment and Facebook, I'd be flattered - maybe they like the way you think and behave and wanted to know what you write about online?

Leia said...

I'm ok with people who are close to me reading my blog. I just try to keep the people who I mention in it anonymous. That's only fair...

Candice said...

I really do think that blogs are meant to be read - I mean, that's kind of the point, isn't it? At the same time, bloggers really should be careful about what they say about their friends/enemies/etc, or at least be willing to accept responsibility for that person's reaction if they should stumble upon a less than flattering description of themselves. I'd love to blog anonymously, but I like my blog the way it is.

Luke said...

I think Leia has the right idea. You have posted on the net, so it's fair game really to anyone. But if you invent pseudonyms and stuff for people, it's safe! :)

Tamara said...

My husband and family don't bother reading my blog. I kinda wish they would, but I guess they don't really need to coz I tell them everything anyway ;-) Other than that, I keep a degree of anonymity to keep me and my loved ones (and not so loved ones too, actaully) from any trouble.