I feel I must mention...

I feel that I must explain, I have nothing against happy couples. I
think that it's great and I'm really happy to see my friends fine
someone who can make them happy and glowy and all that.

I DO however have a major problem with couples who cannot be in the
same room without being plastered together.

I don't have an issue with people having private conversations around
me, even if we're sitting in a group of three. I have no problem
sitting quietly and doing my own thing while they argue over who is
cuter, or better, or more fantastic, or just 'hello' 'hello' 'hello'
like a pair of demented budgies . It's awkward but I can deal.

What gets me is the persistant fondling. I think it's my inherent
English upbringing, but I get very uncomfortable around public
displays of affection. I just don't know where to look. Anything
beyond holding hands gets me a little uncomfortable, particularly when
it's just me and 'ze ghappy couple!' and I have no option of getting
away.

It sucks as I used to spend almost every tuesday might sitting having
dinner with Jo, and then this guy started dropping by. She was still
married at the time and officially trying to save the marriage, so it
wasn't bad because they never even touched each other when I was
around. Then she needed a confidant, I happened to be around and next
thing you know they were all coupley around me, no holds barred,
complete with reflex-rebound from all the hiding it.

And so now that I'm working I've been stuck in a store with them for
the last 4 hours. They've been stroking each other for most of the
time, whenever they're not doing the grope-while-walking-past move, or
the staring lovingly into each other's eyes while giggling at the
amazing wit that they seem to have. Like ' it looks like a little D,
so instead of 'no disc' it looks like it says 'nod isc' isn't that
funny?'

The thing is, they LIVE together, why do I have to watch them, when
they have hours and hours at home every evening?

I just don't get it.