Monday, May 11, 2009

If anything happens to me...

Last year I came out here a week further into winter and proceeded to get sunstroke. This ear I had to sleep in three layers of clothing and my sub-zero sleeping bag and right now I'm sitting in my field clothes plus jersey, waiting to see if it'll warm up enough to go out lizard-hunting. So I figured Id use the opportunity for a quick update that doesn't involve me crying or having a bad day...
 
For the record, if you ever stay in a secluded farmhouse that's hidden away in the back corner of a conservancy, then maybe it's a good idea to clean up before you leave. The last people, bless their demented little hearts, decided to leave some fruit, for the next person. I do that too with one difference: I leave TINNED fruit! I arrived last night to find the fruit bowl stacked with pears in various states of deflation. I threw them off the balcony and they literally exploded when they hit the ground! They also let a dirty T-shirt that is literally growing things under the arm regions...
 
The main toilet in the house is also not working, from the looks of it there's something in the mechanism between the handle and whatever all those things are in the cistern that's disconnected. Whoever stayed here before (long enough ago that their pears could start their own civilisation) didn't do the polite thing and pour a few buckets of water to clear it out. I lifted the lid and got the fright of my life!
 
So instead of using that bathroom I have to either go outside to the big ablution blocks, or i have to go through the house to the bathroom at the far end. A lot of people seem to think that it's haunted down their, and I know there were some very weird things going on at the old caretaker's house before it was demolished, so it's pretty reasonable to assume that whatever it is has moved into the main house (reasonable at 11pm when it's dark at least...). The worst pat is that to get there you have to open an inter-leading door, but as none of the floors are level, the door tends to slam itself shut behind you. It's metal too so the crash is rather surprising until you get used to it!
 
The geysers and the stove/oven in the kitchen are gas-powered, so when I arrived I turned the gas on and checked everything and it all seemed fine. My mom had gone ballistic at the bakery before I left, so I had croissants for dinner (they were also an awesome breakfast and lunch...) so I didn't really go into the kitchen much. Then, later, on my way to make myself some ginger rooibos tea (so good!) I smelled gas. I didn't know what to do, so I opened the windows and looked around a bit, but I couldn't find where it was coming from so I left it.
 
I admit by the time I went to bed I'd kind of forgotten, so when I was woken up this morning by a resounding BANG! I thought Oh no! The house just blew up! I rushed off to the gas canister, which is intact, checked around the kitchen, where everything looks fine and decided to turn the gas off until I need it. I still don't know what the explosion was!

6 comments:

henno said...

Perhaps it one of those vrot pears which was armed with a time-delayed detonator or perhaps the new microbe society in the pits of the stinky t-shirt had just had their "big bang"...that house you're staying in sounds freaky in a wicked way. I too want an old farmhouse!

Leia said...

Yikes... The haunted house bit doesnt sound terribly appealing! Good luck!!!!!!

Monica said...

Honestly, that sounds really freaky!!

sarah said...

ahahaaa. henno is right!

and farmhouses are always slightly hanuted.

except for my poppie afrikaans family farmhouse. its more like a hotel

EEbEE said...

I would have thrown the pears into the manky toilet...

...just to see what would happen.

I'd expect a miniature black hole or Mr hanky's evil brother at least.

henno said...

Mr Hanky's evil brother, the Pear Poo. Yes, that is the least we could expect...