Wednesday, March 30, 2011

It was bound to happen eventually...

So, on the most inconvenient day known to man, I got attacked by a rather large dog. To be fair he had growled a couple of times, but his owner was one of those lovely people who don't know the consulting hours  pitched up early and then didn't want to go home, so I gave the dog a squeaky toy to keep it entertained. And of course it managed to send it rolling under a shelf and couldn't get it out.
So, figuring that he was far enough away for it to be safe I tried to kick it out and back to him. He took this as my going to ste the toy and launched himself at me, dragging his owner with him and attached himself to my leg.
After a brief tug-o-war where he refused to leg go and I refused to let him hold on, I spent the next ten minutes trying to calm the owner down, calling the vet and trying to stop getting blood all over the floor (by wiping it up really quickly), until I had the bright idea that maybe I should stop it pouring out of me first.
By that stage all kind of weird things were falling out of my leg, the vet took one look at me and decided I needed a doctor, covered me in bandages and called the other vet.
The next ten minutes involved my insisting I could drive myself to the hospital, selling dog food, tryng to calm people down, thanking the twenty million people who offered to take me to a doctor and finally being bundled into the vets car and off to the emergency room.
After an hour (you fill your name in and wait, they don't even seem to screen by seriousness of injury, only by medical aid or not), we were called up and told that as I didn't have the actual medical aid card on me, that i could be a nasty fraud and using someone else's medical aid. But pick up the phone for authorisation was too difficult so I would have to go home and email the med aid and ask for a certificate then I could go back and be treated.
I phoned my mother who went into a tail-spin, and insisted I leave immediately and go to my gp.
So about two and a half hours post-bite my GP and all his colleagues oohed and aahed over the bite, had a debate over techniques, sewed me up and gave me tetanus jabs and antibiotics and sent me on my way. I complained about my lack of camera phone (it looks so much less impressive all stitched up) and tried to get the doctor to squeeze more of the subcutaneous fat out (it was falling out already, and have you ever tried to change calf-size? it's impossible!). 
I went home and off to gym (local anaesthetic on leg, it felt FINE), ate some dinner, took two painkillers and passed out with an ice-pack on the leg.
The next morning I stood up and almost passed out. The I had an exciting shower with one leg sticking out (and almost passed out), and then fed two excited dogs who jumped up against my legs (I saw spots, but only wobbled slightly) and then managed to drive off. It's slightly more painful tha admitting, particularly when I sit for too long and it gets all stiff.
The main issue is that the painkillers contain codeine AND a sedative (and a tiny bit of caffeine). I fell asleep at work several times, and was pretty much brainless when awake. Finally I went to the pharmacist and got something else and it's been a big improvement. I also got a first-aid qualified friend to check it out today and have it declared clean and (so far) infection free.
The strange this is that random people drop in at the vet now  see how I'm doing. My answer is generally along the lines of "I'm very medicated, how are you?"
I guess I was rpetty lucky, it might not have been the best idea for me to be driving as I wasn't making logical sentences when I got home. And my bosses and the P1 and my mother have been very long-suffering in my whining, particularly when I haven't taken pain-meds for a while (I can only take them when I'm not planning on driving soon as I tend to go off into fairyland when I'm on them).
Oh, and if anyone can get me one of these for my birthday I would be the happiest girl alive! I NEEEEEED one!


Tamara said...


So glad you're ok. And that you still have your sense of humour.

Hectic, Helen. Hope you heal up soon. And that you stay away from big, growling dogs for a bit.

Kath Lockett said...

Crikey, Helen! What for us is an informative and amusing read must have been agony for you - how brave you are!

Oh and if any deserves a petite giraffe, it's you. Send P1 out to find one stat!

Nes said...

You are totally insane, you know that? Totally. I hope it is starting to feel a bit better. Also I will chat to P1 and we can look for a lap giraffe for you. I am sure they are not hard to find ;)

Spear The Almighty said...

Ouch! Hope it gets better soon. The first day or 2 is normally the worst.

Luke said...

OH MY WORD!!! You TOTALLY down-played this story when I chatted to you on Gmail! This sounds hectic! I thought it was a little cut on the hand or something! I'm glad you got it sorted though (Personally, I'd keep up the drugs ;) )

EEbEE said...

You can now tick your "mangled by a dog" check box!

btw, glad you made it out of that one alright. take care

African Bliss said...

Once again you brought a smile to our faces, here in the Kouga mountains.Funny story serious event.

Anonymous said...

Glad you are doing ok and didn't get completely taken out by the dog. I've always wondered what it would be like if pain killers ever worked for I know! Ha! And yes I NEEEEEED one of those too!

Tamara said...

Two words: Epic Win.

(on the subject of petite giraffes, not your dog episode)

tattytiara said...

Oh dear god that sounds painful. No, don't try to do more than you're ready to, physically or medicationally. Take the time you need to heal, and take good care of yourself.