Friday, March 25, 2011

Dreams

It’s something that I’m relatively used to that I have a super-vivid dream life. I talk in my sleep, walk in my sleep, yell at people for stuff they’ve done in my dreams and often wake up when the phone rings and have a conversation related to my dream with the person on the other side.

Last night I had a dream that the cast of Dead Like Me (mainly Mason) hanging out in a train with Finn from Glee, discovering that there were newborn babies somehow psychically/telekinetically/voodoishly attached to them so that every time they moved the baby moved too. And i woke up with the tagline “I wanna party like a newborn” stuck in my head.

Not the point of the point of this post though. A while ago a ‘friend’ of mine treated me really really badly, and eventually told me that she would fake being half-friends with me for a while but eventually she’d lose touch on purpose and never speak to me again.

And she was in my dream and I went to her in front of a bunch of people in the train and i shouted at her. And I woke up feeling fantastic. And in traffic yesterday I realised why. In my attempt to avoid dragging our mutual friends (after we met 22 years ago most friends have been mutual) into the conflict she has basically been taking them away from me one by one. I don’t know what she tells them (although she told me to my face that she has lied to me and then accused me of being dishonest so I can imagine in her warped mind she must have invented all kinds of things).

so I think subconsciously I have been wanting to put my side of the story out there without being petty and hurting friends who shouldn’t have to choose between us. I feel like I’ve been treated unfairly and I can’t defend myself. and I feel like by being immature she’s actually winning. the high road hurts sometimes.

Who knows, all I can say is that I’m grateful for my dreams for letting me feel like I could do something about it, even if it didn’t really happen.

5 comments:

EEbEE said...

Let me just put this out there.

Helen, life is not a friends competition. In this game there is no winning and no losing. Mutual friends choosing sides and such is all bullshit imo. Just be yourself and let those others w@n&er$ do as they please.

The ones who know you for YOU will stick around and to be quite frank those are the only ones that matter.

Nes said...

Just have to say first that I love EEbEE! I also have to say that I know thats its not as easy as it sounds to forget about the ones that 'dont matter'. But in the end, you will and you'll have some super people in your life who dont get caught up in petty arguments, who are willing to work things out and are worth your time and energy.

You definitely deserve better! :)

bonda84 said...

Yes, the high road is most certainly not the easiest. But even though it's hard and you may lose some people you care about youw will be happy that you were the bigger person.

Tamara said...

So glad to got to at least yell at her in a dream. I used to write letters to people who had hurt me / pissed me off. I never sent them, but getting it out of my head and onto paper helped. Then I could actually find a way to deal with them in real life without saying the nasty, bitchy stuff.

I also have super weird, vivid dreams, btw. The other night I had a very complicated dream that involved East Gate Mall, a village on its roof, a wedding themed around the 1982s settlers and an urgent need to buy a black Parker refill and get to a BP gas station.

Tamara said...

1820s. Not 1982s.

Sucky typist me.