It's no secret that I am scared of very little. Heights (well largely sorted, but I still... respect... them), failure, rejection... the typical stuff.
Another thing that I've never mentioned that sends me into an absolute sipral of terror (I'm talking wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-screaming type terror) is feelings... Like a while ago when I made someone cry. Horrible horrible experience. I just don't know how to deal wth people who show their emotions.
That said, I do tend to be somewhat more of an open-book feelingwise lately. I've always been vaguely exuberant and that's hit all-new epic proportions, particularly when it comes to tai chi, tae bo (why do I love it? they tortured us to a technoed up version of Enya on Monday, nothing like wincing in pain to an upbetified version of Sail Away, Sail Away, Sail Away), skating, hats...
I learned to show fear while abseiling with Leia (it manifests as uncontrollable shaking, anger, aggression and then really bad jokes) and anger while fighting with CG (not something I enjoy thinking about).
Right now... well I'm stuck in a situation where I don't know what I feel. I kind of bounce between happy, sad, terrified and confused, sometimes in a random order, sometimes all at once. And thinking about it is scarier than ignoring it, but as a girl I must think and analyse, and reanalyse, and think some more...
AAARGH!
9 comments:
Bridget...is that, you????
huh?
Jones....Bridget Jones.
Bad joke, sorry. :)
I can relate. But at least you've identified your fears so you can face them! Good job!
Right there with you. Compartmentalize. Look at each feeling as seperate from the others, each aspect of the situation(s) as seperate and deal with them one at a time.
Ah yes, thinking. Too much of it undoes the best of us every single time.
Strangely, sitting with the feelings will help sort them all out! It will maybe be a little uncomfortable, and push you deeper into the emotions than you would like. But all the thinking and analyzing will mute the emotions - and in truth, you have to 'feel' them to understand them and be okay with them. And so thinking - bad idea!
Good luck with the feeling process - and enjoy it :)
Cam: Sorry, a day with undergrads makes my brain mush. And of course we're Briget, all girls are Briget to some extent...
Becca: thanks!
Suvvygirl: yu can probably expect an email soon... thanks for the advice!
Kath: exactly. They should ban it!
Athena: thanks, it's getting better already so I think you're right!
That's the solution: overthink everything ;)
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