Because I am addicted to this song, and other random stuff

So I’ve mentioned before that I have a pretty insanely-vivid dream-life. I also tend to dream about people when I have unresolved issues with them.

Well for general background info, I haven’t heard a word from the people I thought were my ‘close’ friends in quite a few weeks. Actually the last time I saw them was when i had a fight with P1 and was really gut-wrenchingly upset and called one of them because I needed a friend. And they were so busy having fun that I ended up spending the evening sitting in the corner, fending off the Jamaican (he wants to marry me, and he doesn’t believe in showering, which makes for a highly unpleasant combo). I ended up just going home and eventually sorting things out with P1 quite quickly because I’d missed talking to him so much that we kind of put the fight on hold to have a conversation about nothing in particular until we could sit down properly, by which time fighting seemed silly.

Anyway yesterday, while lying on the couch I did the unthinkable and checked facebook, where I got to see how much fun they’d been having all weekend at various social functions, none-of-which I’d cracked an invitation to. Childish I know but it upset me, and stayed niggling the back of my mind for the rest of the day.

So unsurprisingly I spent the night dreaming about them. And not the normal escaping-from-the-giraffes-while-picking-blueberries kind of dreams. I dreamed about yelling at them, all of them, even Leia, who fought with me months ago, but it bothers me that she has made no effort to even try to sort things out.

I woke up feeling furious with everyone and I ended up having it out with about four different people today.

And now I’m exhausted. Being angry is hard work.

In the meantime I have storypeople, which has the most amazing little gems:

“the problem with polar fleece is that it gets absorbed into your body after a few months & even exercise won't get rid of it, she said, & there's nothing more depressing than a polar fleece body”

“She saw herself reflected in the store window & then the sun changed & she disappeared & all she could see was her eyes & she remembered thinking, I make a very nice floor lamp & that was the day she decided to quit her job.”

“I used to think about starting a religion until I figured out who'd be my followers & I wouldn't hang out with those people if you paid me.”

“I'm just going to hide here in this paper bag until death comes, she said. It could be a long time, I said. There was a pause & then her head popped out. You think I should have a hobby while I wait? she said.”

Maybe I should start walking to work?

Well cycling isn’t an option as I  maintain an (un)healthy fear of going downhill. I’ll cycle the ups and the flats (as long as there aren’t too many scary bumps and definitely no puddles) and then walk the downhill after shrieking and leaping off the bike in terror. And yet P1 insists on taking me mountain-biking regularly…

Anyway my brakes started squeaking a while ago. Nothing major, I waited until I had some spare time and washed my car, making sure to wash out the brakes at the same time. It was better for a week or tow, and then they started grinding. With payday approaching I drove even more like a grandmother than usual, with the occasional idiot of a driver on the roads giving me a wake-up call when i had to stop suddenly.

Six days ago I told my mother who panicked and offered to go with me to get them fixed, but i was really busy that day blahblahblah, thanks anyway (seriously, I had work and a function and had to run the dog around the neighbourhood first). Three days ago I told P1 who freaked out completely and offered to lend me the money if i went the next day. I meant to, really I did, but then I overslept and had to get to work and and and…

Anyway yesterday I went to put my laptop in the boot so I could go to work to find that the boot wouldn’t open. Apparently there’s an inherent weakness in the latch mechanism (I had to have it replaced on the old car too), not unlike the inherent weakness in the starter that got me stranded in a strange suburb one Sunday morning not so long ago (German engineers are not getting much respect from me right now).

So I put the laptop on the floor of the back seat, hid it with a jacket and a gym towel and drove off to work. Halfway there I realised that I couldn’t get my  brakes fixed until I got into the boot, because the special lock-nut thingie is in my tool-bag, which is in there.

Cue really bad mood for the afternoon plus and hour or two of trying different unlock-lock-unlock-pull methods (no success).

Fortunately youtube has the answer for everything and I managed to get my boot open last night and retrieve the lock-nut, jack, spare-tyre, jumper cables and tow rope (I’m prepared) and put them all in my car, covered with enough random rubbish to make the car look like a bit of a tip, but I’m hoping not like something worth breaking-in to.

This morning I woke up early to check if the university had paid me (haha, funny) to find that we had no electricity. Cue bad mood number 2: no coffee. Eventually I heard something hum, leapt for the kettle like a ninja and logged on only to find that the internet connection dropped every time I attempted to sign in. After the fifth of so attempt I got a call from the bank. I was impressed that they were following-up on repeated logins so quickly, until I realised that they had no idea what I was talking about and were just trying to sell me a funeral plan.

As I finally logged in and waited for the page to load, I put on a load of washing to find that the machine wouldn’t turn on. Yip, another power-outage. I gave up and decided to go and see if they could fix my brakes as I had just enough to get the front ones fixed and I had the back ones replaced quite recently.

Only to find that the gate (which has a battery motor) kept closing by itself and so leaving the property involved some careful gauntlet-running, and that the power outage meant that we had no functional traffic-lights and so even with my slightly non-functional brakes I had to stop repeatedly.

Fortunately the place I was taking my car to is just down the road from P1, and so I knew enough short-cuts to get there with minimal traffic and the people were really nice and fixed my car right away, and I had just enough money to replace the brake pads and get the discs skimmed (yes, they were pretty ridiculously far gone). Now all I have in the world is about enough to buy a macdonalds meal, but my car stops when I want it to.

Next mission is getting the boot fixed, although I think that can wait until I’ve come back from the beach feeling a little bit less hopeless about transport in general.

Thing's I've learned

• Being busy and being productive are two very different things.
• Photographing weddings is exhausting
• exercising too much after a couple of weeks of couch-potatoeness is fine, until you overdo it on the core exercises. do you know how much you use your core muscles? Particularly the lower-back region...
• threatening Paris Hilton moviesd Twilight is a good way of making people make movie-choices quickly ("the Hottie & the Nottie" anyone?)
• How I Met Your Mother is hilarious. Suit up!
• Driving in fog is scary. How do Capetonians manage it all the time?
• Plants vs zombies is evil.
• I'm officially c25k doomed. Getting past week 4 is an impossibility.
• turns out that when you need to leave the house just before 6am, setting the alarm clock for 5:45 doesn't really work. Odd...
• It took me 4 days to figure out why I was always late in the mornings.
• Being friendly to crazy-cat ladies is the worst idea ever.
• Woolworths makes amazing malva pudding. Now to try and find a recipe to make it at home...

The cutenessnessness!

november blues

Yes, this will be whiny. I’m not having a good day.

Maybe it’s all the Sodastream I’ve been listening to lately, but I’m in a sad mood and I can’t seem to shake it.

I’m missing the farm.

I’m feeling unappreciated, almost like I have to work really hard just to have people around me. P1 is completely confused, but he’s also pretty much taken by his midweek social-butterflying which doesn’t help.

I feel guilty that I’ve lost touch with so many of my friends. And angry that so many of them disowned me for not being on my own anymore.

I’m feeling sad that someone I was friends with for over 20 years treated me like I was worthless and hasn’t bothered to try and sort things out. I feel like I wasted a lot of time and energy and effort on her and didn’t get anything back.

I’m feeling frustrated that I can’t see to run more than 4m at the moment.

I’m mildly embarrassed by the amount of Hootie and the Blowfish I’ve been listening to.

I’m scared that the end of the year is so close.

I’m annoyed that the caffeine-intolerance headache has returned.

I feel like the self-respect that I’ve tried to hang onto and use in decision-making is slipping away.

mostly, I’m just tired. Drained. Exhausted.

And my nose is running.

Which really doesn’t help things.

I blame the paperclips for running out

This followed a few hours of deathly-boring admin, when I lost the stapler and couldn’t attach notes to an unfileable form…

Helen: so if you were the stapler i used 2 minutes ago, where would you be hiding? dustbin, never mind

P1: hmmm, sneaky stapler... at the back of a drawer, or even better under a piece of paper. they would never find me there !

Helen: You don't want to staple? but then what is your purpose in life?

P1: living a life of comfort in my drawer with the other homies, punch and ruler

though I do really dislike staple remover

that dude messes with my shit

Helen: He stops your progress, talk about blocking career paths...

and he's ugly

P1: those teeth, serious buck tooth issues there

Helen: and so shiny, what's he trying to prove anyway?

P1: been around longer that he has, man I use to put some smack down on those biatches nails... now :/ pfff

Helen: gettling a bit long in the staple there?

reliving the glory days?

P1: you know it baby, almost time for my last staple refill :P

Helen: out in a blaze of collated glory

P1: at least I will know I have spread my wild staples in any number of fine pieces of paper, Glossy was always my favourite!

Helen: and multiple sheets in one go?

P1: hehe

Helen: do we win a prize for awesomeness right now?

P1: Damn straight we doo