Friday, January 04, 2013

Resolutions and moving forward

So I am an unofficial property owner. The bonus of buying from family, is that we agreed, they handed over the keys, and one day the paperwork will be sorted out but it's not a big deal with occupational rent and stuff like that.

The P1 decided that as he is unemployed (but with enough payout to be ok for a while and not rush into the first place that holds out a paycheck), he would help me fix the place up.

The place was FINE. I was going to put on a enw coat of paint, change one or two things, get some tilers to come in (carpets in the bathroom? ewwww) and move in. He started helping me with the cupboards 2 weeks ago. Turns out he likes doing things Properly. As in lets use my last week of leave sanding cupboard doors. Which weren't flaking.

I have also learned that when he gets difficult and cancels plans with me to play with his friends, that angry-paining and sanding is really satisfying.

Moving forward on that front is... unsure. Last year was 12 months of crisis-mode. My PhD and then first New Job and househunting and everything else was one big stress-bubble. His work pushed him until his health failed and then tried to fire him for being incapable due to being sick. So then I was using all of my off hours studying labour law and trying to help until it got to a point where we called in my amazing friend who is a lawyer who shut them up very quickly. Pretty much immediately after he left we went on holiday  where I learned that things had changed.

I remember the days when I went camping with my tent, a bag of apples, a jar of peanut butter and some crackers, and a sleeping bag. I spent my days running around like a lunatic exploring and having adventures and chasing lizards and poking at bugs and generally having a good time.

Turns out when I dragged P1 on a 2km rock-hopping course when it was 42 degrees, he didn't take it so well. He's not the people I used to go away with. So we spent 9 days sitting under trees, reading books, taking walks in the very early morning before it was too hot. And I kind of stewed (no pun intended) at the idea of wasting all that time sitting around when there were rocks to climb. And by the end of 9 days the energy taken to push myself aside and look after everyone else faded, and I started crying and couldn't stop.

And I learned that the P1 has no idea how to differentiate between angry and sad. So he thought I was angry so I got the silent treatment which MADE me angry.

But it's all ok so moving on...

Resolutions for 2013:

  • Start running again (once my knee recovers from the damage caused by falling into the kiddies swimming pool and accidentally doing the splits)
  • Work on my health. I'm looking forward to living alone where I can plan my menu and exercise and everything. Last year the stress gave me gallstones and a stomach ulcer. Lets not let that happen again.
  • Work on work-life balance a bit. Last year was insane and a lot of friendships and relationships suffered. It seems that I'm an all-or-nothing worker, but I can't keep that up for much longer.
  • Budget responsibly. Living alone ups the overheads and I'm not earning enough to not be super-careful.
  • No more weddings. they upset me, and I'm tired of being gloated at as the only unmarried girl in my extended family. I'm bridesmaiding the Oracle, but after that, no more.
  • Learn to look after myself first, then everyone else. I always feel like I'm on the receiving end of that, so maybe its time to learn how to do it too.
We will see.


po said...

Congrats on the property buying, that is so way out grown up to me. IT sounds like parts of 2012 were tough, but they sound like the growing kind of tough? Stuff that makes you wiser and stronger? Maybe I am wrong. But you sound very grown up either way.

Kath Lockett said...

Best of luck, Helen, but don't be too hard on yourself.

Perhaps this is the best resolution: be kind to myself...?

po said...

Are you out of hospital yet? That vomiting and needing pain medication sounded terrifying, did they figure out what was wrong? Hope things have improved, Helen.