So I am an unofficial property owner. The bonus of buying from family, is that we agreed, they handed over the keys, and one day the paperwork will be sorted out but it's not a big deal with occupational rent and stuff like that.
The P1 decided that as he is unemployed (but with enough payout to be ok for a while and not rush into the first place that holds out a paycheck), he would help me fix the place up.
The place was FINE. I was going to put on a enw coat of paint, change one or two things, get some tilers to come in (carpets in the bathroom? ewwww) and move in. He started helping me with the cupboards 2 weeks ago. Turns out he likes doing things Properly. As in lets use my last week of leave sanding cupboard doors. Which weren't flaking.
I have also learned that when he gets difficult and cancels plans with me to play with his friends, that angry-paining and sanding is really satisfying.
Moving forward on that front is... unsure. Last year was 12 months of crisis-mode. My PhD and then first New Job and househunting and everything else was one big stress-bubble. His work pushed him until his health failed and then tried to fire him for being incapable due to being sick. So then I was using all of my off hours studying labour law and trying to help until it got to a point where we called in my amazing friend who is a lawyer who shut them up very quickly. Pretty much immediately after he left we went on holiday where I learned that things had changed.
I remember the days when I went camping with my tent, a bag of apples, a jar of peanut butter and some crackers, and a sleeping bag. I spent my days running around like a lunatic exploring and having adventures and chasing lizards and poking at bugs and generally having a good time.
Turns out when I dragged P1 on a 2km rock-hopping course when it was 42 degrees, he didn't take it so well. He's not the people I used to go away with. So we spent 9 days sitting under trees, reading books, taking walks in the very early morning before it was too hot. And I kind of stewed (no pun intended) at the idea of wasting all that time sitting around when there were rocks to climb. And by the end of 9 days the energy taken to push myself aside and look after everyone else faded, and I started crying and couldn't stop.
And I learned that the P1 has no idea how to differentiate between angry and sad. So he thought I was angry so I got the silent treatment which MADE me angry.
But it's all ok so moving on...
Resolutions for 2013:
- Start running again (once my knee recovers from the damage caused by falling into the kiddies swimming pool and accidentally doing the splits)
- Work on my health. I'm looking forward to living alone where I can plan my menu and exercise and everything. Last year the stress gave me gallstones and a stomach ulcer. Lets not let that happen again.
- Work on work-life balance a bit. Last year was insane and a lot of friendships and relationships suffered. It seems that I'm an all-or-nothing worker, but I can't keep that up for much longer.
- Budget responsibly. Living alone ups the overheads and I'm not earning enough to not be super-careful.
- No more weddings. they upset me, and I'm tired of being gloated at as the only unmarried girl in my extended family. I'm bridesmaiding the Oracle, but after that, no more.
- Learn to look after myself first, then everyone else. I always feel like I'm on the receiving end of that, so maybe its time to learn how to do it too.