sad panda

So after going around in weird cycles between being very happy and having the same fight over and over and over again I decided that I wasn't prepared to be the only one working at it.

So the P1 and I broke up.

I'm in a weird place between relieved that the fighting is over, gutted that I've lost my best friend and upset over random stuff. Like losing out on a Coldplay ticket really shouldn't make me so sad.

In a weird case of "who has more self-righteous anger" I deleted him off BBM - more because there's no way (that I know) to sign out. So he blocked me off gChat. And the thought of not starting my day with a chat makes me sad.

At the same time things just weren't working. You can only have the same fight so many times before you realise that nothing is changing.

That doesn't stop me from really wanting to run after him and apologise. Why this all had to happen before a 6 hour work shift is just unfair. I've been doing the dontcrydontcrydontcry mantra for hours now.

Life is life I guess